Some people might be pissed for me writing about this, but I can’t help believing what I believe and am not afraid to state my opinion on it. The purpose of recovery from drugs and alcohol is live a life without these things being a disruptive element anymore. Ones life should no longer be ‘attached’ to drugs and alcohol. The goal being to ’find a new way to live’.
1 The biggest thing to do this is not to use or drink AT ALL
(That one should be a no-brainer).
2 The next part involves taking the obsession or craving to use away by working on yourself. There are many different approaches to do this (including step work and spirituality) - I’m just trying to lump this general terms.
3 Once this is done, the next step is to stay involved in some type of maintenance process to avoid regressing back to the “old self” that had cravings and obsessions which led to using. Part of that maintenance usually involves giving back and helping others.
I have no problem with this general recovery plan - I use it myself. What bothers me is the way that some people follow it. When I say ‘bother’, I don’t mean that I’m bothered by a difference of opinion, or application. I feel that everyone has a right to use whatever recovery plan works best for them. I bring this up, because I am concerned that many people in recovery are denying themselves true freedom from drugs and alcohol. I see many continuing a course of action that keeps these substances a disruptive element in their lives - EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE ABSTAINING, WORKING ON THEMSELVES, AND RUNNING A MAINTENANCE PROCESS.
I feel I can say this, because I feel that many people in recovery remain ‘attached’ to drugs and alcohol - hence never enjoying true freedom from them. If there’re not using how are they attached?
Their attachment is now based on aversion (strong dislike) - a strong feeling of dislike or hatred of something. To be very averse to something – for instance, steering clear of alcohol – is a similar issue to craving, but working in reverse. The ideal is ‘no attachment’, neither craving nor averting. For some people in recovery look like people trapped in the cycle of craving and aversion, where their refusal to drink or use is symptomatic of an ongoing problem. To reach a higher spiritual level one should cultivate 'no attachment'.
I’m not saying that we should forget that drugs and alcohol are bad things and we certainly have to avoid them, but we don’t have to spend every waking minute reminding ourselves (and others) how much we hate them now. If we have really worked on ourselves and found some serenity, drugs and alcohol should hold no value over us in either a good or bad. How can one have any serenity if they still focus on this aversion?
Go to meetings, work with a sponsor, help spread the recovery message - do what you have to do for maintenance, but put it into a balance. Sure I usually spend a hour a day working on these blogs and go to a few meetings a week, but I do this so I can spend the rest of my time enjoying a normal life. My recovery is always there, but it runs beneath my awareness - only ready to pop up if needed. In fact most people that have come to know me in the last few years have no ideal that I had a drug problem
It amazes me how there are people with years in sobriety going to a dozen or more meetings a week, or standing on milk crates in the streets shouting AA slogans or not being able to hold a conversation with anyone without it turning into recovery talk. In my opinion, if you need to do all of this to stay clean, its time to REALLY do step work this time. Its time to REALLY work on yourself. If you spend your life in recovery always focusing on your strong aversion to drugs and alcohol, then the same underlying problems that caused you to crave them ARE STILL THERE to an unhealthy degree. This reminds me of my old life when, even when I wasn’t high, I was always focused on getting money for it, getting to the drug dealer, or waiting till I could sneak away and use.
To find real serenity the idea of no attachment should be used in ALL aspects of your life. Attachment can only be an illusion - you hold no real power over it. Admit that you are powerless over remaining attached to things. Attachment is a corruption that robs the true value of everything that you have. Take love for example. Love is a great and real thing, but it is something that one must enjoy for what it is - not possess. The magic of love is destroyed when one tries to attach to it. This can lead to fear of its loss, attempts at control, lack of trust, jealousy, ect.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
DEPENDENT ORIGINATION
The mental phenomena such as craving can be understood to be causally conditioned. In Buddhist's teachings there is something called the ‘law of dependent origination’ which asserts that sensory contact conditions feeling, feeling conditions craving, and craving conditions grasping. Meditative practice and 'mindfulness...' help to cultivate a gap between feeling and craving. It is in this space that we find our freedom, the freedom to have a choice rather than merely to react compulsively. The word buddha means “one who is awake”. To be awake to our inner world, rather than operating on automatic pilot, is a powerful preventative measure against relapse.
BEYOND UNDERSTANDING
It is well known to people in recovery that intellectual understanding alone is insufficient to motivate change. We need to move from understanding to conviction, achievable through experience. Smokers, for example, know that smoking causes them harm, yet sometimes the compulsion to smoke is irresistible. The language ...of the 12 steps, involving being “humble”, “willing” or “praying”, is not the language of intellectual analysis but of emotional commitment. 12 step recovery tries to engage the heart as well as the head. When the heart is engaged, we can find the motivation to transform ourselves through action.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
DISTORTED THINKING
If your having troubles dealing with reality, maybe its because your thinking is distorting it.
Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational thoughts identified in cognitive therapy and its variants, which supposedly perpetuate certain psychological disorders. Eliminating these distortions and negative thought is said to improve mood and discourage maladies such as depression and chronic anxiety. The process of learning to refute these distortions is called "cognitive restructuring".
List of distortions -
All-or-nothing thinking (splitting) - Thinking of things in absolute terms, like "always", "every", "never", and "there is no alternative". Few aspects of human behavior are so absolute. (false dilemma.) All-or-nothing-thinking can contribute to depression.
Overgeneralization - Taking isolated cases and using them to make wide generalizations. (hasty generalization.)
Mental filter - Focusing almost exclusively on certain, usually negative or upsetting, aspects of an event while ignoring other positive aspects. For example, focusing on a tiny imperfection in a piece of otherwise useful clothing. (misleading vividness.)
Disqualifying the positive - Continually reemphasizing or "shooting down" positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons.
Jumping to conclusions - Drawing conclusions (usually negative) from little (if any) evidence. Two specific subtypes are also identified:
Mind reading - Assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others.
Fortune telling - Exaggerating how things will turn out before they happen. (slippery slope.)
Magnification and minimization - Distorting aspects of a memory or situation through magnifying or minimizing them such that they no longer correspond to objective reality. This is common enough in the normal population to popularize idioms such as "make a mountain out of a molehill." In depressed people, often the positive characteristics of other people are exaggerated and negative characteristics are understated. There is one subtype of magnification:
Catastrophizing - Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable or impossible when it is really just uncomfortable.
Emotional reasoning - Making decisions and arguments based on intuitions or personal feeling rather than an objective rationale and evidence. (appeal to consequences.)
Should statements - Patterns of thought which imply the way things "should" or "ought to be" rather than the actual situation the person is faced with, or having rigid rules which the person believes will "always apply" no matter what the circumstances are. (wishful thinking.)
Labeling and mislabeling - Explaining behaviors or events, merely by naming them; related to overgeneralization. Rather than describing the specific behavior, a person assigns a label to someone or themselves that implies absolute and unalterable terms. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
Personalization - Attribution of personal responsibility (or causal role) for events over which the person has no control. This pattern is also applied to other in the attribution of blame.
Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational thoughts identified in cognitive therapy and its variants, which supposedly perpetuate certain psychological disorders. Eliminating these distortions and negative thought is said to improve mood and discourage maladies such as depression and chronic anxiety. The process of learning to refute these distortions is called "cognitive restructuring".
List of distortions -
All-or-nothing thinking (splitting) - Thinking of things in absolute terms, like "always", "every", "never", and "there is no alternative". Few aspects of human behavior are so absolute. (false dilemma.) All-or-nothing-thinking can contribute to depression.
Overgeneralization - Taking isolated cases and using them to make wide generalizations. (hasty generalization.)
Mental filter - Focusing almost exclusively on certain, usually negative or upsetting, aspects of an event while ignoring other positive aspects. For example, focusing on a tiny imperfection in a piece of otherwise useful clothing. (misleading vividness.)
Disqualifying the positive - Continually reemphasizing or "shooting down" positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons.
Jumping to conclusions - Drawing conclusions (usually negative) from little (if any) evidence. Two specific subtypes are also identified:
Mind reading - Assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others.
Fortune telling - Exaggerating how things will turn out before they happen. (slippery slope.)
Magnification and minimization - Distorting aspects of a memory or situation through magnifying or minimizing them such that they no longer correspond to objective reality. This is common enough in the normal population to popularize idioms such as "make a mountain out of a molehill." In depressed people, often the positive characteristics of other people are exaggerated and negative characteristics are understated. There is one subtype of magnification:
Catastrophizing - Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable or impossible when it is really just uncomfortable.
Emotional reasoning - Making decisions and arguments based on intuitions or personal feeling rather than an objective rationale and evidence. (appeal to consequences.)
Should statements - Patterns of thought which imply the way things "should" or "ought to be" rather than the actual situation the person is faced with, or having rigid rules which the person believes will "always apply" no matter what the circumstances are. (wishful thinking.)
Labeling and mislabeling - Explaining behaviors or events, merely by naming them; related to overgeneralization. Rather than describing the specific behavior, a person assigns a label to someone or themselves that implies absolute and unalterable terms. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
Personalization - Attribution of personal responsibility (or causal role) for events over which the person has no control. This pattern is also applied to other in the attribution of blame.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Defense mechanisms - overview
Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies brought into play to cope with reality and to maintain self-image. These defenses make possible compromise solutions to personal problems or conflicts. The compromise generally involves concealing from oneself internal drives or feelings that threaten to lower self-esteem or provoke anxiety.
They are more accurately referred to as ego defense mechanisms, and can thus be categorized as occurring when ones underlying impulses are in conflict with each other, when the underlying impulses conflict with ones moral values and beliefs, and when an external threat is posed to the ego.
There is nothing inherently wrong with using defense mechanisms. Healthy persons normally use different defenses throughout life. They tend to become pathological (self-destructive) only when its persistent use leads to maladaptive behavior such that the physical and/or mental health of the individual is adversely affected.
The American Psychiatric Association has published a breakdown of different defense mechanisms putting them into different categories. Level 1 are considered the most self-destructive, moving up to level 4 which are considered the most “normal”, or healthy (even though their use is still not the best solution to cope, or maintain self-image). The following is taken from the APA book, but somewhat re-written by me to take all the “doctor” language out. I put each level on a different post to follow. Try to go down the list and see which ones you may have used.
They are more accurately referred to as ego defense mechanisms, and can thus be categorized as occurring when ones underlying impulses are in conflict with each other, when the underlying impulses conflict with ones moral values and beliefs, and when an external threat is posed to the ego.
There is nothing inherently wrong with using defense mechanisms. Healthy persons normally use different defenses throughout life. They tend to become pathological (self-destructive) only when its persistent use leads to maladaptive behavior such that the physical and/or mental health of the individual is adversely affected.
The American Psychiatric Association has published a breakdown of different defense mechanisms putting them into different categories. Level 1 are considered the most self-destructive, moving up to level 4 which are considered the most “normal”, or healthy (even though their use is still not the best solution to cope, or maintain self-image). The following is taken from the APA book, but somewhat re-written by me to take all the “doctor” language out. I put each level on a different post to follow. Try to go down the list and see which ones you may have used.
Defense mechanisms - level 1
Level 1 - Pathological
The mechanisms on this level, when predominating, almost always are severely pathological. These four defenses, in conjunction, permit one to effectively rearrange external experiences to eliminate the need to cope with reality. The pathological users of these mechanisms frequently appear crazy to others. These are the "psychotic" defenses. However, they are found in dreams and throughout childhood as well, because children have not yet learned better ways to cope.
They include:
Delusional Projection: Grossly frank delusions about external reality, usually feelings of being victim to cruel or unfair treatment.
Denial: Refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening; arguing against an anxiety-provoking situation by stating it doesn't exist; resolution of emotional conflict and reduction of anxiety by refusing to perceive or consciously acknowledge the more unpleasant aspects of external reality.
Distortion: A gross reshaping of external reality to meet internal needs.
Splitting: A primitive defense. Negative and positive impulses are split off and unintegrated. Fundamental example: An individual views other people as either innately good or innately evil, rather than a whole continuous being.
The mechanisms on this level, when predominating, almost always are severely pathological. These four defenses, in conjunction, permit one to effectively rearrange external experiences to eliminate the need to cope with reality. The pathological users of these mechanisms frequently appear crazy to others. These are the "psychotic" defenses. However, they are found in dreams and throughout childhood as well, because children have not yet learned better ways to cope.
They include:
Delusional Projection: Grossly frank delusions about external reality, usually feelings of being victim to cruel or unfair treatment.
Denial: Refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening; arguing against an anxiety-provoking situation by stating it doesn't exist; resolution of emotional conflict and reduction of anxiety by refusing to perceive or consciously acknowledge the more unpleasant aspects of external reality.
Distortion: A gross reshaping of external reality to meet internal needs.
Splitting: A primitive defense. Negative and positive impulses are split off and unintegrated. Fundamental example: An individual views other people as either innately good or innately evil, rather than a whole continuous being.
Defense mechanisms - level 2
Level 2 - Immature
These mechanisms are often present in adults and more commonly present in adolescents. These mechanisms lessen distress and anxiety provoked by threatening people or by uncomfortable reality. People who excessively use such defenses are seen as socially undesirable in that they are immature, difficult to deal with and seriously out of touch with reality. These are the so-called "immature" defenses and overuse almost always leads to serious problems in a person's ability to cope effectively. These defenses are often seen in severe depression and personality disorders. In adolescence, the occurrence of all of these defenses is normal.
They include:
Acting out: Direct expression of an unconscious wish or impulse in action, without conscious awareness of the emotion that drives that expressive behavior.
Fantasy: Tendency to retreat into fantasy in order to resolve inner and outer conflicts.
Idealization: Unconsciously choosing to perceive another individual as having more positive qualities than he or she may actually have.
Passive aggression: Aggression towards others expressed indirectly or passively such as using procrastination.
Projection: Projection is a primitive form of paranoia. Projection also reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the undesirable impulses or desires without becoming consciously aware of them; attributing one's own unacknowledged unacceptable/unwanted thoughts and emotions to another; includes severe prejudice, severe jealousy, hyper vigilance to external danger, and "injustice collecting". It is shifting one's unacceptable thoughts, feelings and impulses within oneself onto someone else, such that those same thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations are perceived as being possessed by the other.
Projective identification: The object of projection invokes in that person precisely the thoughts, feelings or behaviors projected.
Somatization: The transformation of negative feelings towards others into negative feelings toward self, pain, illness, and anxiety.
These mechanisms are often present in adults and more commonly present in adolescents. These mechanisms lessen distress and anxiety provoked by threatening people or by uncomfortable reality. People who excessively use such defenses are seen as socially undesirable in that they are immature, difficult to deal with and seriously out of touch with reality. These are the so-called "immature" defenses and overuse almost always leads to serious problems in a person's ability to cope effectively. These defenses are often seen in severe depression and personality disorders. In adolescence, the occurrence of all of these defenses is normal.
They include:
Acting out: Direct expression of an unconscious wish or impulse in action, without conscious awareness of the emotion that drives that expressive behavior.
Fantasy: Tendency to retreat into fantasy in order to resolve inner and outer conflicts.
Idealization: Unconsciously choosing to perceive another individual as having more positive qualities than he or she may actually have.
Passive aggression: Aggression towards others expressed indirectly or passively such as using procrastination.
Projection: Projection is a primitive form of paranoia. Projection also reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the undesirable impulses or desires without becoming consciously aware of them; attributing one's own unacknowledged unacceptable/unwanted thoughts and emotions to another; includes severe prejudice, severe jealousy, hyper vigilance to external danger, and "injustice collecting". It is shifting one's unacceptable thoughts, feelings and impulses within oneself onto someone else, such that those same thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations are perceived as being possessed by the other.
Projective identification: The object of projection invokes in that person precisely the thoughts, feelings or behaviors projected.
Somatization: The transformation of negative feelings towards others into negative feelings toward self, pain, illness, and anxiety.
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