I've never had a problem spending time alone. If anything, I seek solitude more than I should - my life should be balanced better in this regard. I enjoy my personal times for many reasons. I like to read, do a lot of writing, meditate, reflect over my life in positive ways, write/perform/record music, paint/take photos, continue to educate myself in many fields, ect. I can not imagine my life without a certain amount of time put aside for solitude every week.
What I have a problem understanding is that there are so many people that I know that are very uncomfortable being by themselves. I believe however that this is because, in the last few years, I been exposed to a large number of people who are trying to recover from drinking and drug addiction (my census poll of people is probably tainted).
The last 3 years in particular, have been spent living/working in recovery half-way houses. Many people living here can barely stand more than a few seconds without the comfort of constant distraction. Most need to fall asleep with a TV, or radio on. Some wake up and before their feet hit the ground, have to put on their headphones for their mp3 player.
I remember when I was staying in rehab centers and things like Walkmans were discouraged, because they were considered ‘Isolation Tools’. For a long time I assumed they meant isolation from others, but one morning I remember watching this guy brushing his teeth a 6AM with music blasting in his headphones and it dawned on me that they were worried about isolation from one’s self.
I don’t know why its so hard for many, except to think that they have not reached, or actively avoid, what it takes to make peace with oneself and the world. Most recovery programs offer knowledge and suggestions for action that can make life in recovery a lot easier to live. Unfortunately it is a difficult path to affect change. It is not only a matter of knowledge - much more important is personal action and the experiences that follow.
My past is filled with many poor choices and regrets. If I let myself be consumed with things like regret, anger, fear, guilt, hopelessness, low self-esteem, and melancholy - I’d probably avoid solitude also. Hell, I’d avoid staying clean and sober!
I am very grateful for where my attitude about life has led me to today. My times of solitude have become one of the biggest blessings that I cherish.
