KB part 1

KING BABY by Tom Cunningham
First published July, 1986.
Copyright © 1986, Hazelden Foundation.
(part 1)

About the pamphlet:
This pamphlet discusses the King Baby personality - the childish traits seen in people who have reached adulthood without acquiring emotional maturity. Not only must these traits be surrendered before chemical dependency can be fully arrested, but the presence of this King Baby personality can accelerate addiction or lead to relapse.
About the author:
Tom Cunningham has worked in the chemical dependency field for ten years. He holds a B.A. degree from the University of Minnesota and currently works as an inpatient counselor for chemically dependent adolescents and young adults.


INTRODUCTION
Dr. Harry Tiebout used "His Majesty, the Baby," the words of psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, to describe an inborn attitude. The term King Baby could just as well be Queen Baby, because we all probably have this infantile ego in our unconscious minds. Chemically dependent people must be especially aware of King Baby characteristics; for these attitudes and behaviors can interfere with recovery.

In our Twelve Step programs, we repeatedly see the need and make the attempt to surrender - to turn our lives and our will over to the care of God. We have slogans that emphasize the necessity and rewards of the Third Step: Let Go and Let God, What's Turned Over Turns Out. The recognition of powerlessness is the basis of surrender, but the act of surrendering comes with the total acceptance of that powerlessness. Many of us who have difficulty with the First Step may recognize our powerlessness but be unwilling to accept it. In other words, we are able to see and understand it, but our need for control prevents us from committing ourselves to this very necessary act of surrender. Our egos interfere. Our immaturity demands we retain control. Our King Baby mentality insists we direct our lives and control our wills. In doing so, King Baby obstructs our healthy recovery.

In this pamphlet, we will learn to identify the infantile King Baby ego within us. Our childish personality traits must be surrendered before our disease can be fully arrested. The compulsive King Baby personality can accelerate addiction or lead to relapse. We have to maintain our awareness of these tendencies as we work our Twelve Step recovery program in Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

WHO IS KING BABY?
To understand King Baby, let's imagine for a moment we're returning to the womb. Here we feel warmth, security, com-fort, freedom, and power. All our needs are taken care of. We are the center of our universe. We are cared for just because we exist, and we are perfectly content. Infancy also encourages our King Baby attitudes. Our loud demands for food, attention, and care are answered immediately. We are again the center of a vast kingdom; our wishes are all-important. Through the natural maturing processes of childhood and adulthood, most of the King Baby mentality is discarded and replaced by more appropriate coping skills.
Some of us, however, advanced through the stages of physical growth without shedding this immature creature - King Baby. For us, King Baby never forgets the wonderful, warm security of prenatal and infant life and will try again and again to experience it. King Baby strives to recapture the total contentment of every need being met.