KB part 5

KING BABY by Tom Cunningham
First published July, 1986.
Copyright © 1986, Hazelden Foundation.
(part 5)

THE FATAL COMBINATION
Addicted to a life of excess and driven by feelings of low self-worth, an immature person's life is frustrating and unrewarding, but not necessarily fatal. But something happens to the chemically dependent person when the King Baby lifestyle and low self-worth are combined with the experience of getting high. This "something" can be a fatal combination. That warm, comfortable, confident feeling of infancy - something we have been looking for all our lives - is captured again. The comforting, fear-dispelling effects of a chemical are exactly what our King Baby egos have been searching for. As the love affair with getting high takes over, all aspects of our lives progressively slip into more excessive, immature behavior.

THE CATALYST
The King Baby defense system of denying almost any problem is already well established, and it accelerates the chemically dependent person's descent to the bottom. The enemy is within us, and our drug use releases the pent-up frustrations, angers, resentments, fears, and doubts like a rocket ship taking off for the moon. The wonderful feeling of the womb returns, and the Baby is radiant within and without, excited and confident about this newfound high.
The ego becomes a raving maniac demanding to be constantly fed in a series of fun parties and excitement that speeds us through the progression of chemical dependency at a record pace. We become chemically dependent quickly, reaching bottom in a fraction of the time it took our elders.
Blinded by the wonderful feeling of that perfect high, the Baby in us throws away what's left of a conscience and value system. Having a set of built-in blinders, earplugs, and tunnel vision for our delusion and denial system, we are able to remain totally ignorant of how far we have gone.

SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED
Exhausted from a lifestyle of needing everything in a hurry, scheming to win, frantically trying to gain the upper hand, fearing outcomes and endings, and trying to be all things to all people, the Baby in us often comes to a screeching halt.
When that sick, panicky feeling of butterflies in the stomach becomes a raging fear and terror that totally consumes us, we hit bottom. The Baby cannot imagine life without chemicals and is fearful of going on and on in this never- ' ending rat race. Locked into the pattern of this repeated
behavior and never trying anything different, King Baby is too paralyzed by fear to face the next day. Recovery can be delayed by the immature ego which still insists on being right - "I can do anything. I don't need help." Timing is everything, for now the Baby is vulnerable and can be helped.

ADMIT DEFEAT, FACE REALITY
Admitting our way didn't work and facing failure will open the floodgates to a world of pain. In an instant our King Baby will go from feeling we need help to feeling hopeless, from being optimistic to believing we can't change. We will stay stuck in our swamp of despair waiting to be rescued while demanding a guaranteed blueprint for success before we will face our fears and begin to act. At this time, we can accept the hand of A.A. or N.A. reaching out to us in the form of another King Baby alcoholic or drug addict, reassuring us the Twelve Steps work. Before the First Step is taken, King Baby needs the hope of "If others can do it, so can L"
The way out of the King Baby trap is "I Can't, We Can" thinking. Surrendering to the Twelve Step way of life can harness the power of King Baby and can help us find a Higher Power that will work for us.
We can learn the true meaning of forgiveness, humility, and gratitude. We can learn to avoid the pitfalls of King Baby and tune into the Twelve Steps. We can learn to have fun again while gaining a new, deeper understanding of life.