KB part 8

KING BABY by Tom Cunningham
First published July, 1986.
Copyright © 1986, Hazelden Foundation.
(part 8)

USING OUR ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES
We know we have addictive personalities. Why not try being addicted to something that is positive for us? We can pick some mini-goals or things that we can do each day. We can develop a fun, positive, even passionate love affair with some kind of exercise program. If we want to, we can go back to school.

DEVELOPING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR HIGHER POWER
We should ask ourselves what kind of a Higher Power we have, and how we are going to contact Him as we read our daily meditations. We can pick a theme to live each day by, remembering that a positive attitude is not automatic, but comes from practice and hard work. The more our expectations are lowered, the more our serenity increases. We can practice acceptance of ourselves and others.

DAILY INVENTORY
Each evening we should record the positive things we did and the good things that happened to us. This focuses on giving ourselves some credit for what we accomplish. We can gently review our mistakes and promptly admit where we were wrong.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
Our recovery is seriously jeopardized by getting into a relationship too soon. While hurting with the growth pain of recovery, the King Baby in us often seeks new relationships to ease the pain of growth. If allowed to happen it is like a moth being drawn to the flame, and King Baby too often creates an addictive relationship, using the relationship like a drug high. This puts our recovery on hold, or - even worse - it may encourage relapse. Our immaturity may have prevented us from knowing what a healthy relationship is or how to have one. All we have known is to possess, invade, demand, attack, and conquer. We love the honeymoon but have been incapable of sustaining the nuts and bolts of a relationship. The powerful emotions of a new relationship could cause us to lose our newfound sobriety.
"YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFE," THE SPEAKER SAID
Imagine for a moment a permanent stereo headset with one ear listening to King Baby and the other listening to A.A. Our call letters will be K-BABY and W -AA for the "we" in A.A. We have a choice to tune in either K-BABY or W -AA. K-BABY represents stinking thinking or the thoughts that will lead us to relapse while W -AA represents recovery. If we challenge K-BABY thinking and tune in W -AA, we can begin to change our behaviors.

The King Baby Stinking Thinking Versus the Slogans of A.A./N.A.
(K-BABY Stinking Thinking - W-AA Slogans)
Living in the past and worrying about the future - One day at a time
Continuing to run away from fears and apprehensions - Easy does it
Trying to handle it my way - Let go and let God
Overreacting when things don't happen the way I think they should - Live and let live
Trying to rewrite the Big Book, the Steps, and the Traditions -- choosing the parts I want to work - If it works, don't fix it
Forgetting that staying sober and A.A./N.A. are my number-one priorities - First things first
Complicating it into "analysis paralysis" - Keep it simple
Taking others' inventory, pointing out when they're wrong - Take your own inventory
Little white lies are okay - It's an honest program
Justifying grudges and holding on to them - Don't carry resentments
Telling people what you think they want to hear - Tell it like it is

Compare the Symptoms of Relapse to the Principles of A.A./N.A.
(K-BABY Symptoms of Relapse W-AA Principles)
Dishonesty - Honesty
Doubt - Hope
Procrastination - Action
Fear - Courage
Taking the easy way out - Integrity
Complacency - Willingness
Cockiness - Humility
Expecting too much from others - Brotherly love
Letting up on discipline - Self-discipline
Quitting the meetings - Perseverance
Forgetting gratitude Omnipotence - Spiritual awareness Service

THE ATTITUDE IS GRATITUDE
Eventually, we learn to take on the task of supporting, nourishing, and stroking our scared little child. We even make a truce with the King Baby part of ourselves and become able to monitor what is going on within. It never occurred to King Baby that a person could be self-disciplined and live a normal life and still be really turned on and alive. We now can develop an inner serenity King Baby never thought possible.