KB part 7

KING BABY by Tom Cunningham
First published July, 1986.
Copyright © 1986, Hazelden Foundation.
(part 7)

SURRENDER: BE GOD OR BELIEVE IN GOD
It's quite a relief to be free from trying to run the whole universe. In surrendering, we turn the job back to a Higher Power who, in turn, fills our souls with the warmth, comfort, and serenity we've been seeking so long. Once again it is similar to the feelings of the womb.

Before Surrender After Surrender
frustrated - safe
angry - cared for
tense - relaxed
nervous - grateful
cornered - open
panicky - teachable
afraid - willing
guilty - honest
ashamed - hopeful
uncertain - peaceful
defeated - serene
resentful - tolerant
empty - full

FORGIVENESS
God doesn't make junk. Each one of us is a special and unique person - a somebody, not a nobody. In all the world there is not another one like us. We must become fascinated by ourselves and realize how tough we are. The King Babies within us have developed a wide variety of strengths coupled with God-given talents, and we must learn to appreciate those strengths. We can learn from the past and let it go. We can stop being judge, jury, and executioner condemning ourselves. We know our Higher Power forgives us. Now it is time to let Him. We must stop judging ourselves and get out of His way.

HUMILITY
"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way." When Mac Davis sang that song, King Babies everywhere blushed, knowing he was singing about them. It is now obvious that pride is a large part of the King Baby problem. What we need to learn is that pride can be positive. Humility is not being meek and fearful. Rather, humility is an acceptance of being equal, not better or worse. To be equal is to also be honest, open, and vulnerable, which is difficult but now possible. Feeling free to be ourselves, we can face reality. Humility helps us to be teachable and flexible. To continue growing and avoid relapse, humility must be constantly maintained.

GUILT
King Baby's guilt machine, or conscience, is broken. King Babies whitewash their behaviors and lose their value systems in the process. Realizing this, they overreact and beat themselves constantly for being human. Until the King Baby in us finds a balance and a new set of values, we will need to rely heavily on our sponsors. A good rule of thumb is if we feel guilty, we shouldn't do it. We need to find out what we believe in and live by it.