ROADBLOCKS TO CHANGE part 2 excuses

I got one nugget of advice that I know from experience has helped me solve a lot of problems that I had found myself trapped in. Before I tried to do this, I was stuck in bad places for long periods of time. Its kind of like a cure-all out of many self-imposed problems. -

I was often trapped in problems by my own excuses. Because important options are eliminated, there becomes NO workable solution. Amazingly, many of the excuses were part of the building blocks that formed, and maintained the actual problem in the first place (though I didn’t see it at the time). Ideas like “can’t” need to be looked at with suspect..
What did I mean by can’t? Did I mean that it was actually impossible, or just that I didn’t feel as though I was able or willing enough to do it.
I made a list to re-examine my list of excuses. First thing I did was eliminate what was truly 100% impossible (going back in time, changing other people, overcoming real concrete physical limitations, ect. ect.). Surprisingly, that didn’t get rid of that many. Most of the excuses left were determined by my perceived conceptions of my abilities and willingness. Abilities can almost always be improved, it usually just take willingness (determination) to do it. So, all of the focus is now on willingness. Why was I not willing to try this solution?

Its too emotionally stressful to attempt.
Its too expensive.
I’m not determined enough.
I don’t want to go through with what I must to do it.
I’m probably not physically able.
There is no workable compromise.

Sometimes my problem developed into a full-blown crisis, like crippling drug addiction. It took a long time to reach the intense level of desperation that it took, but eventually I was forced to re-define what I was willing to do. Great movers in history show example to the potential of willingness, especially willingness created out of desperation. Once forced to test my willingness. I discovered I had the willingness needed. [see my previous post READY TO CHANGE] Its just a shame that I waited so long, and that things had to get so bad. And I was lucky, all moments of desperation do not lead to happy endings. Suicide was certainly an option for me more than once.

I’ve learned now to try to find my way out of a situation before it has to become a desperate crisis. There’s nothing worse than the times when I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. That’s why I make the excuse list. Now I try to find a ways to seriously consider and test the truth of the excuses that are determined by perceived willingness. Here is how I force myself to do this - I think about the choices I’m not considering because I think I can’t (am not willing). I Imagine what if I WAS willing to go through what I had to do and what it would lead to. Now I’m focusing on the prize, not the excuses. I can see the better life waiting for me. It probably isn’t the perfect life, I may have to lose much to get there, but it will give me much more peace of mind (I will have gotten past this current bad situation). From there, a whole new world of possibilities can spring up. My future gives me hope again.